Real Appreciation For Graffiti

We all have problems and those problems make us feel bad.

So to make the bad feeling go away, we have to channel all our efforts into solving our problems.

At least that’s what we think.

The reality, however, is a different one.

If focusing on your problems and trying to tackle them head-on with all the effort you can muster works, why do you still have so many problems?

If the common way of solving problems is so effective why are our lives a string of problems, one seamlessly flowing into the next one like abacus beads?

Part of the issue is that we consciously or subconsciously believe that life is effort and struggle, that nothing comes without hard work, and that putting your nose to the grindstone is the only way things can change.

I think that’s a really sad and depressing approach to life and I’m going to make a case for another approach.

Why the Common Problem-Solving Approach Doesn’t Work

Let’s start with an example many of us can relate to.

Imagine you have money problems right now. Perhaps you don’t even need to imagine it because you actually have them right now.

Most of us had or have this issue. So we all know how shitty this feels.

Anxiety, worry, and stress are all unpleasant side effects of having a money problem.

Now, to solve this issue, naturally, we do the only thing that we’ve been taught to do when it comes to solving problems: Focusing our attention on it and trying to figure a solution out.

But there are two issues with this problem-solving approach:

1. Anxiety, worry, and stress get intensified.
2. Rarely do we find a satisfying solution.
3. These two outcomes make sense if we look at what the focus-on-the-problem approach actually does.

Because a lack of money is emotionally associated with anxiety, worry, and stress the more we focus on it the bigger these emotions become in our experience.

These negative emotions are the felt sense of our problem state. We don’t like this state. So now we want to move from the problem state to the solution state.

But because our whole system is in the problem state, we can’t get to the solution.

Or to put it in the words of Albert Einstein:

We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.

I would adapt this quote a little and say:

“We cannot solve our problems in the same state of consciousness we were when we created them.”

Often it’s not a lack of effective thinking that keeps us from finding the solution to a problem, it’s misdirected attention.

What’s the Real Problem?

The problem is not a lack of money. The problem is your emotional state.

I already hear some hard-worn pragmatists call me a fool for saying such a thing but bear with me for a moment.

Look at it from this angle. What is the painful thing about the money problem?

It’s not the number in your bank account. It’s the negative emotions — the anxiety, worry, stress, etc.

No matter what you think is wrong with the world the only reason why you interpret anything as a problem is because you feel bad.

And most of us in the Western world who claim they have a money problem are not starving. It’s usually an issue of not having the lifestyle other people have. But I’m digressing.

Just imagine for a moment you would feel absolutely peaceful and blissful about your life no matter what is going on, would you still feel like you have an urgent problem?

And before you say it, yes you can feel peaceful and blissful even without the things you think you desperately need.

The inversion is also true. If you don’t believe me, look around.

Most of us have all kinds of material goods and comforts and still are anxious, depressed, stressed, angry, and so on.

Try to see this:

All problems come down to the fact that you don’t like the way you feel.

So what if changing the way you feel would actually solve your problems?

An Alternative Problem-Solving Approach

You don’t like all the worrying. You don’t like all the feeling bad. You don’t like trying hard to solve your problems and never be done with them.

So how about instead of focusing all your mental capacity on trying to come up with a solution and wallowing in your negative emotional state, you just stop?

What if you take all your attention away from the problem, and put it on something that makes you feel good?

Ask yourself how you would feel if the problem was solved and then feel that.

Every time you find yourself slipping back into worry, keep coming back to that feeling (e.g. peace, joy, happiness, abundance, etc.).

You can do it.

If you think I’m crazy for suggesting this, look at your life.

Look at the most pressing problem in your life and see how long you’ve been trying to solve it with the traditional approach. See all the misery and suffering you have put yourself through by pondering this problem for many fruitless hours.

If endless pondering and worrying would be the way, then why haven’t you found the solution like two years ago?

Heck, some people spend 16 hours a day worrying.

Isn’t that the crazy thing?

Just turn this into an experiment. Approach your life in another way. Instead of regurgitating your problems, make it a priority to feel good right now.

Close your eyes and recognize that right now in this moment everything is fine. Nothing is wrong. Nothing needs to be done or changed.

Keep coming back to the feeling of peace you can tap into at any moment.

This doesn’t mean to suppress your emotions. That’s what you’ve probably been doing most of your life.

Feel your painful emotions and allow them to be, but don’t spend your time justifying, increasing, and wallowing in them. Don’t make them bigger than they are.

Worrying is like an addiction. So if it’s hard for you to stop right away, give yourself 15 minutes a day to actively worry.

But for the rest of the day, no worrying. No, not even worrying about your worries.

When you feel your moment-to-moment experience improving, you’ll gladly reduce your worry time to zero.

Test it out! After all, what’s the worst that can happen?

Your external situation is the same but you no longer feel bad.

Seems alright to me.

But What About Thinking And Reason?

Don’t misunderstand me.

I’m not saying you should relinquish reason and stop thinking.

Personally, I love to think, and reason is what drives effective thinking. The problem is not thinking.

The problem is the pointless repetitive thinking that you’ve been doing for years. It’s the kind of thinking that’s dictated by every emotional whim that comes along.

Effective thinking is done without the distorting influence of emotions.

And the reason why so many of us struggle with the same problems our whole lives is because all the thinking we do concerning those problems is fueled by the emotions associated with those problems and is thus part of the problem.

So let’s be rational for a moment.

What makes more sense:

Spending a lifetime in worry and anxiety hoping that your problems will eventually disappear so that you can feel good, and if they don’t you’ll waste your life worrying and never enjoying what you already have?

Or

Feeling as good as you can right now and then living your life based on that state?

Again, thinking is awesome. But not all thinking is equal.

Worrying is a form of thinking that’s based on negative what-if? scenarios and does nothing but destroy your well-being.

To use the words of Terence McKenna: “Worry is preposterous.”